Tiny little word.

She was nursing her broken heart. She sniveled, snorted and wiped her tears off. She could not care about the mess her tears is making on her mascara or the about the stares she is getting. It is a beautiful restaurant and she could not care anymore! Her love is getting married to another woman! Her world is falling apart. 

Beside this teary woman, sat a man fidgeting his mobile.

It has been 2 hours since he had picked her from her apartment. She has not stopped crying since. Being seated in a restaurant does not seem to bother her too. He smiled at people who were getting concerned about her tears. No dude! I did not do anything to her. She is crying about her Ex. 

He was not surprised by her situation. She should have seen this heartbreak coming. She should have known that he is not gonna stay.

BUT, He did not expect that she can cry for this long though. His stomach growled. The waiter had kept the food on the table, and left promptly without serving, seeing her cry. He heard her sniff again and he handed over the napkin which came along with the food they have ordered.

He tried to be patient, but the food is getting cold.

"Girl, you have seen worse and you are a tough woman", he tried to comfort her. 

"But why does it always happen to me?", She squeaked and started crying fresh tears. 

The names of men who were heartbroken by her flashed in his mind and he rolled his eyes. He scratched his head. He is out of words now. So he reached out and held her hands. She hissed.

"All men are the same!" she muttered.

He understood that it is a lost cause, and started to serve food to his plate. He placed some in her plate too. She pried in between her sobs and asked him to stop when he had served enough.

That made him smile and he shook his head. All that crying would have made her hungry! She was sitting with her feet on the chair and had bundled herself on the chair. It was a garden restaurant and no one seemed to be bothered about it.

He looked at her amused. "You know what? You look cute when you cry like this". He quipped with the smile.

That startled her and she stared back blankly.

When he finally served the dinner She pulled herself back to the table and they had their dinner in peace. Her cries have softened and she was not complaining anymore.

After the meal, they walked around the restaurants' park. It was a nice evening and her mood lightened. She spoke about her tiring job, and he spoke about his boring life. Then she spoke vividly about her dreams, her wishes, and all the plans she had chalked out after her marriage. Impressive! he thought.

It was getting late and people had started to leave the restaurant. It is time for him to drop her home.

He walked her to the car, and opened the door for her. She got in without looking away from his face. She was gauging him. Will he ask for a kiss? He could not help by smile at the fierce little thing she is. He handed over the cable and let her choose the songs to be played. With pride, she showcased her collection of music and hummed along. There was traffic. It did not bother him today. He can smell her faint perfume. He drove slow. She was talking... talking mostly to herself. He found her beautiful now, an amber soul, fiery, warm and beautiful. Her eyes did not tear up any more and in those eyes he had started to see his home.

She unplugged her phone when they reached the compound of her flat and told him that she enjoyed the evening. For that, He asked her to stop thinking too much and to sleep peacefully. Her heart whispered. He is a gentleman.

She did not want to go home just yet. She opened the door to get out, paused and looked back at him.

"Umm?"

"Did you really think that I was cute?" She blurted.

"Yes". He said that tiny little word with a chuckle.

　

　

　

　

　

Something changed.

He was driving, and I was counting the passing street lights. There is nothing new. Nothing fancy! It was just two souls comfortable in their silence whiling away their loathsome time. We know each other for years. There is nothing new to talk, and I can guess what he is going to say even before he thinks about it. We drove around in the night, safe in our elements.

 It never occurred to me before, but somehow a thought had stemmed that nothing can go wrong between us. I will not hesitate if he calls me in the middle of the night to walk till the end of the world. He can never hurt me. I smiled at that thought and looked at him. I saw the faintest smile when the beams from the other cars flashed on his face. He is happy.

 

“Baby pooh”

Alerted he looked at me, “What?!!”

“I called you baby pooh”, I said with a straight face.

“Ewww gross! Why you would call me such a thing?” He squirmed.

“That’s cute”. I remarked giggling seeing him getting uncomfortable.

“It is not cute. Gawd”

“It is.”

“I am a bad person”

“…and a jerk, and an asshole, and a pervert” I quipped with the widest of the grin.

He ended the conversation with a stare.

 I was not intimidated. I still had that grin. With apparent failure to control the situation, He went back to concentrating on driving. I did not have any pressing thing to do then and was staring at him. He is taller even while sitting, he was wearing a white shirt which is thoroughly ironed. Did he do that? Not an impressive job though. My OCD kicked in and I tried to stretch the folded cloth over his arms.

 

He was not expecting my touch. He jerked making the car take a sudden move to the left and almost hitting another car. He took the control of the car in another 10 seconds and once the fright faded from me, I started laughing. He was embarrassed. I poked him to make him see that I am still laughing. He was not going to look at me.

 

“A 30-year-old man, and still cannot handle a woman’s touch”, I laughed.

No response yet. I poked him again.

“Oye! can’t you even handle a small touch from a woman?” I grinned.

He breathed now. “I can handle a woman’s touch. I cannot handle YOURS”. He looked straight at me now, and It was my turn to be dumb folded.

 

It took a while for it to sink in. Then we drove in silence, and him being the gentleman dropped me back to my home instructing me to be safe. I smiled. Something has changed. I walked in closing the gate behind and still the shattering of the friend-zone was ringing in my ears.

She wept silently.

She knew she should leave the room. His voice is rising, and it would not take him long to raise his hands. She walked out quietly as she can, wary. Then, she heard the heavy footsteps behind her. He is following her. She quickened the pace. The door is near. She can make it. She can.

She thought she can.

The heavy footsteps got heavier, and she quickened her steps to make it a run, afraid to look back. She touched the doorknob, she unlocked it and pulled the door open with a gleam of hope. But then, she felt the hard tug in her hair. He was strong. She held on to the door until he pulled her hard, and she started falling.

She fell, hearing him close the door. In those moments, the time froze. She was dragged to the time when she was happy. She remembered the time she fell before a man. Another man, a kinder man.

Then she hit the cold hard floor. She realized that it is nothing like how she felt before. She curbed to a cocoon and the hopelessness covered her as a blanket. With her tears filled eyes, she remembered about the kinder soul she had met.

When she had fallen before him, she hit the softest bed giggling. Then, her knees did not ache like now. Then she did not have to pull her up to keep away from the man lurking over her now. Then, she had a smile and not the dread she has now. Then, she waited for him to join her in the bed… and not the panic she has now.

Then, came the slap shaking her off his memory. The man before her is angry. But, she is not afraid anymore. She knows what is going to happen next. Then came the other slap. She looked at him straight into the eyes now, unfaltered. When he raised his hands for the third time, she shot up like the Hellcat. She is not going to take it anymore. Let him kill her, but she is not going to surrender. She slapped him hard when he was preparing for the next hit. She pushed him hard with all her might, making him lose his ground.

This baffled him. He is surprised. He did not expect it from her. He stood still gauging her with a smirk. He knows that the woman before him is not getting away, not now, not ever. Looking at the man staring at her now - she remembered him again, her kinder soul. She had pushed him away too…maybe harder then. But, then she had a smile and it was a taunt to make him try harder to get her. She had felt warm and safe then. Now, she felt as an empty shell of rage.

She felt the last shred of sanity leaving her when the hopelessness seeped in. She screamed hoping her neighbors will hear it. She wanted to incinerate this demon before he can unleash himself on other women.

Alarmed by her scream, he choked her to stop. She squirmed under him to let free. She remembered her man again when her eyes clouded with tears. She had screamed before too. But, because of euphoria then. She had tears in her eyes too, but because of passion. Her screams were muffled then, but with a passionate kiss. But now, she heard only his thunderous voice commanding her to shut up. In those moments, she realized how far she is from happiness. In those moments she realized how far she is from him – the kinder soul.

She quietened. There is nothing more to cry. The shore is away and she is lost. No one is going to hear her cries now. She is far from him. Seeing her quieting down, he released his hold on her throat. She pulled herself close to the fetal position. She wept quietly.

She knew she is far. She knew she is alone. She knew He cannot hear her now.

And, she wept quietly in the darkness of the night.

In the next room, under the pillow her phone beeped with a message - "I miss you, I wish you were here with me" and then he turned around to sleep hugging the pillow. He knew something was not right. He knew something happened to his other part of his soul.

Does he have to ask?

I was disappointed, I was angry. How can he ask me that? All that looks, all that education and he is just a moron. The more I thought, the more I got angry. My good friend sitting in front was curious.

“What happened?”, he asked.

“Nothing.”… I hesitated. “Well, you know what? All men are the same. They are morons”, but couldn’t stop myself.

“what happened now?”, he was bored with my drama.

“I like a guy”, I said almost thoughtfully.

“That is not something new. Go on”, he yawned.

“He said shit to me”. I was sad. 

He was intrigued now. “What did he say?” he asked almost smiling.

“He wanted to know what is my size… you know…”the” size”. I sulked.

He was confused. I looked up when I did not get a reply on it. Is he getting angry on him?

He saw the question in my eyes, and replied “No… I was wondering. Why does he have to ask?”… he glanced down for 0.09845 nano seconds. “Your size is **, isn’t it?”

I was dumbstruck. He was right!

He continued lighting a cigarette…”Does he have to ask to know that?” almost rolling his eyes.

Walking away..

Her brain chanted “It is wrong, it is wrong. Don’t do it” and it was almost panicking. But then her car stopped and she saw him waiting for her at the end of the street. She walked towards him and seeing her, he smiled. Then, her heart begged “Just one more day. Just one more day and I will forget him”

He nodded to board his bike, and she obeyed. He wanted to see the sunrise with her. The journey was filled with laughter, small hugs pretending that it is cold outside, accidental kisses and more laughter. She forgot about herself then. She was feeling too good. She was feeling too safe. She was feeling it to be too good to be true.

That cannot be true. There will always be a catch.

Her panicked brain kept on chanting “This is wrong…this is wrong. You have to stop”. Then, she asked about her. He was too lost in the conversation himself. He was having a good time too and words flew from of his mouth, stabbing her heart. He told her that she was sick and needs to take her to the hospital. She asked when they will be getting engaged, encouraging him more. He was  alarmed. He knew that she is preparing for a fight. This is the start, this always is the start.

“Why you want to talk about it? Are you not having a good time…”, he murmured.

“For How long?” She asked before he could complete his sentence. She was afraid. 

“It will take some time. Nothing is confirmed yet. You know this already. Why are you making it a big fuss now?”

Yes. She knew it. She knew the end right from the beginning, but she did not know that she will fall in love with him then.

“Yeah I know. I was just checking how much more time I have before you will leave me.” She faked a giggle, hiding the rising ache in her. She knew that she is going to miss him dearly. He is going to leave a big empty space in her heart when he leaves.

He believed her laugh. “I should deal with your mood swings, like I deal with hers. I will not talk till you get back to your normal self”. He joked.

Those words pierced more in to her heart like a dagger.

She realized that he was still holding her hands. She looked up to his face, but she did see not the man she loved then. She saw another man...another woman’s husband there….and he was holding her hands. She felt awkward. She felt embarrassed.

She gulped and she heard her brain say “See, he does not belong to you. He never was yours. He will never be yours”, but this time her heart was quiet. Her heart did not beg for one more chance. Her heart had enough.

She kept on looking at him. He was handsome. Any girl would have done the same mistake she had done.

Her quietness made him look at her. His eyes sank too. He could see her hurt right through her eyes. He knew her too well not to see it. But he knew he did not have a choice. He wished she had more strength to hold on. He did not want to see her shatter in front of him.

She tried to slip her hands from his clutch, and he held it tighter. He did not want her to leave… He did not want to let her go, just yet.

She was thinking hard. She wanted to do something, something stupid. She wanted this intimacy to die a sudden death, with dignity and not the natural eventual death. She had to murder it, before it takes its course. It was time for her to give him his final gift, her anger. It was her time to pretend to be strong.

“If you love her that much, why are you with me?”, she said fuming. 

“What to do want exactly?”, she did not want to stop her rants fearing he will see her tears. “Oh, I know, you want me to love you, till she learns to love you”, she continued.

He was baffled seeing her sudden anger. He did not want her to be angry. He did not want the few minutes he had left with her to be ruined. He tried his best to ignore the conversation.

Her rants fell on his deaf ears. His calm acceptance made her quiet. She did not know how to be angry anymore. Finally her anger gave way to her sadness. He knew too well that she love him. He knew this anger would not last. 

It was almost the sunrise. She took her phone, suddenly interested in getting a photo of a Sunrise. They both needed a distraction. It was not the place to fight. It was a beautiful day.

He peeked over her phone, and saw his photo in her gallery. “Is it not my photo?”, he said with a smile.

Yes, it was. Caught! I am caught! It was humiliating. He knew now how much she wanted him in her life. He knew that she has stolen his picture from Facebook. She must save her face, she must be angry again. How can she admit that, she will miss him, and will be looking at his picture when he leaves? How can she when he belongs to another woman?

“Yes, it is your pic. I have a picture of you and me as well”

“So?” He quipped, still smiling.

“I can always send that pic to your fiancée”, She added a threat.

“Why?” He questioned, his smile slowly fading.

“To ruin your life. Do you think she will react well to this news?” She said with a sadistic glee.

He became quiet. She knew she has struck a nerve there.

“He really loves her, he wants her, not me”, she realised. She felt jealous, she felt lesser. She felt weak as her strength drained away by that thought. She cannot stay angry anymore and she cannot cry now either. He loves her.

“I have to go”, she said looking at a distance.

“Why? I can drop you there”, he did not want to end the conversation in that note.

“I am leaving. But remember, I will send that picture to her, if you message me again”, she said calmly. She was happy with the man she choose to fall for. He is worth the pain. The time spend with him was worth the tears. She smiled. She had won the conversation. She felt triumphant in making him admit that his fiancee means more to him than her. He could not lie to her… just, yet.

She did not have anything more to say. She walked. Her heart screamed to look back, to have the last glance of him. But she walked. She had walked away from someone she loved before, and she know this won’t be the last as well. But she walked…alone, like the first time he met her.

But now, she had a lot of his memories to hold on to. And...she just walked.

The Ship has sailed.

It was a pleasant evening, and I was in the best-est of my moods. I was carefree, and I was not expecting something out of the blue.

Then, my phone rang.

The name on the ringer was something which I chanted for years, and getting a call from that number should have made my heart pound. But that was years before, and nothing excites my heart anymore. I answered.

“Hello?”

“You answered my call. I did not think that you would”

“Why wouldn’t I? It was years before.”, I said finishing my drink.

“Still….”

“Oh! Come on” I faked a giggle.

We talked for some time. The usual stuff, and he explained how the world is never fair to him. I rolled my eyes. It was not the first time!

“Hey, by the way, I called you to tell you something”

“Yes?” I waited for the drama to unfold.

“I am getting married”

I gulped. “Who?”

“It is her. We decided to take the plunge”.

I sniffed. It was raining and I am getting a cold. 

”Are you crying?” he asked concerned.

“No.” I sniffed again letting him think that I am still the nice girl he used to know.

“I just thought you should know”.

Those words made me mad. “Why would you want me to know? Who am I to you any which ways? It was years before and that ship sailed long time ago”

I could almost feel him smiling then. Voila! He got on nerves yet again...after all this time! 

“Well, that’s all… you take care”, His words reverberated with his satisfaction.

“You take care too” and I pressed the “End call” button as my heart would allow. I love my phone.

With a sigh, I looked at the distance where the sun was setting. My friends were still sitting around me questioning me with their eyes.



“Oh that was my Ex. He is getting married.”


My best friend held out the can of beer with a grin.

“That is a wonderful news. Let us drink to that”…and then we laughed and laughed.

Epilogue :

He called me next day morning.

“Hello?”

“Hey, where are you?”

“I am at a friend’s place. What happened?”

“I thought you will call me back”

“Why would I do that?” I was surprised when he blatantly admitted.

“I thought you will ask me to meet before my marriage”. I laughed out hard at that reply.

“Why?” I asked still laughing. “You are getting married to another woman, why would I try to meet you after all these years?”

“Nothing. I just thought”

“Well, congratulations! I hope she makes you happy like I never did”

“No, I am not getting married. I just wanted to know how you will react to that”

“Are you happy now? This is my reaction” I had that smug face when I said that.

Veruthe oru bharya (“useless wife”) Movie - A different perspective.

I saw my mother watching this film for the Nth time today. It is a good movie, I enjoyed it too. But will I enjoying watching it for the 10^th time? No. Definitely No.

And the people who does not know about the film – Here is the link https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Veruthe_Oru_Bharya

Let us watch that movie again, but with a different perspective.

The woman walks out of the home, because she feels unappreciated. She did not think about the girl who was left behind. Who cares right? She is with her father. Everything will be alright. She did not think that when being a woman, she is not able to handle her “husband” - How will that girl handle him? But still who cares? She has bigger problems. HER HUSBAND DOES NOT APPRECIATE HER!

Her father gave her a phone. Of course, there is no happiness which cannot be bought with money right? But did he think that she is growing up, and there are predators lurking? No… He has bigger problems to solve. HIS WIFE LEFT HIM!!!!

The teenage girl went for a trip with a teenage boy. The car broke down and she got in to trouble with hooligans. SERVES HER RIGHT! How can she go out and seek happiness when her parents are fighting over petty things? They do not care about her (of course!), but HOW CAN SHE GO OUT AND BE HAPPY FOR A MOMENT? She is supposed to be in the house and suffer silently

Thank fully, she was saved by the police. But the trauma of being chased by hooligans made her father lose his mind. But she is PERFECTLY FINE! ( Like really? She would be one tough cookie). I found it hilarious actually. In a country when a girls is getting raped in broad day light, the police were there to save this girl. Well, it is a cinema, and that is how the director wants!

T

The mother realized that her girl is missing after two weeks. WOW! 2 WEEKS! That was pretty quick isn’t? The mother should be worshipped, because it is hard to get a mother like that. She went to the school to see her daughter. Oh, she cannot go home directly because there is her unthankful husband. It is not a big deal if her daughter is missing, but she cannot face her thankless husband. THAT WOULD BE TOO MUCH TO ASK FOR!

But with the help of his friends, she went to meet her daughter. She is almost on her death bed and being cared by her lunatic father. Later the same lunatic hit her with an iron rod on her head. Then only the realization hit her “Parents”. They reconciled, the lunatic father got the treatment and got his senses back. Happy ending!!!

I found it funny actually. The little girl had to face death almost twice to make her parents learn how to live a life.

I think the name of the film should be “Veruthe oru parents” (“Useless parents”)