Her brain chanted “It is wrong, it is wrong.
Don’t do it” and it was almost panicking. But then her car stopped and she saw
him waiting for her at the end of the street. She walked towards him and seeing
her, he smiled. Then, her heart begged “Just one more day. Just one more day
and I will forget him”
He nodded to board his bike, and she
obeyed. He wanted to see the sunrise with her. The journey was filled with
laughter, small hugs pretending that it is cold outside, accidental kisses and
more laughter. She forgot about herself then. She was feeling too good. She was
feeling too safe. She was feeling it to be too good to be true.
That
cannot be true. There will always be a catch.
Her panicked brain kept on chanting “This
is wrong…this is wrong. You have to stop”. Then, she asked about her. He was
too lost in the conversation himself. He was having a good time too and words
flew from of his mouth, stabbing her heart. He told her that she was sick and
needs to take her to the hospital. She asked when they will be getting engaged,
encouraging him more. He was alarmed. He
knew that she is preparing for a fight. This is the start, this always is the
start.
“Why you want to talk about it? Are you not
having a good time…”, he murmured.
“For How long?” She asked before he could
complete his sentence. She was afraid.
“It will take some time. Nothing is
confirmed yet. You know this already. Why are you making it a big fuss now?”
Yes. She knew it. She knew the end right from
the beginning, but she did not know that she will fall in love with him then.
“Yeah I know. I was just checking how much
more time I have before you will leave me.” She faked a giggle, hiding the rising ache
in her. She knew that she is going to miss him dearly. He is going to leave a
big empty space in her heart when he leaves.
He believed her laugh. “I should deal with
your mood swings, like I deal with hers. I will not talk till you get back to
your normal self”. He joked.
Those words pierced more in to her heart
like a dagger.
She realized that he was still holding her
hands. She looked up to his face, but she did see not the man she loved then. She
saw another man...another woman’s husband there….and he was holding her hands.
She felt awkward. She felt embarrassed.
She gulped and she heard her brain say
“See, he does not belong to you. He never was yours. He will never be yours”,
but this time her heart was quiet. Her heart did not beg for one more chance.
Her heart had enough.
She kept on looking at him. He was
handsome. Any girl would have done the same mistake she had done.
Her quietness made him look at her. His
eyes sank too. He could see her hurt right through her eyes. He knew her too
well not to see it. But he knew he did not have a choice. He wished she had
more strength to hold on. He did not want to see her shatter in front of him.
She tried to slip her hands from his
clutch, and he held it tighter. He did not want her to leave… He did not want
to let her go, just yet.
She was thinking hard. She wanted to do
something, something stupid. She wanted this intimacy to die a sudden death,
with dignity and not the natural eventual death. She had to murder it, before
it takes its course. It was time for her to give him his final gift, her
anger. It was her time to pretend to be strong.
“If you love her that much, why are you
with me?”, she said fuming.
“What to do want exactly?”, she did not want to
stop her rants fearing he will see her tears. “Oh, I know, you want me to love
you, till she learns to love you”, she continued.
He was baffled seeing her sudden anger. He
did not want her to be angry. He did not want the few minutes he had left with
her to be ruined. He tried his best to ignore the conversation.
Her rants fell on his deaf ears. His
calm acceptance made her quiet. She did not know how to be angry anymore. Finally her anger gave way to her sadness. He
knew too well that she love him. He knew this anger would not last.
It was almost the sunrise. She took
her phone, suddenly interested in getting a photo of a Sunrise. They both needed
a distraction. It was not the place to fight. It was a beautiful day.
He peeked over her phone, and saw his photo
in her gallery. “Is it not my photo?”, he said with a smile.
Yes, it was. Caught! I am caught! It was humiliating. He knew now how much she
wanted him in her life. He knew that she has stolen his picture from Facebook.
She must save her face, she must be angry again. How can she admit that, she
will miss him, and will be looking at his picture when he leaves? How can she
when he belongs to another woman?
“Yes, it is your pic. I have a picture of
you and me as well”
“So?” He quipped, still smiling.
“I can always send that pic to your
fiancée”, She added a threat.
“Why?” He questioned, his smile slowly
fading.
“To ruin your life. Do you think she will
react well to this news?” She said with a sadistic glee.
He became quiet. She knew she has struck a
nerve there.
“He
really loves her, he wants her, not me”, she realised. She felt jealous,
she felt lesser. She felt weak as her strength drained away by that thought. She
cannot stay angry anymore and she cannot cry now either. He loves her.
“I have to go”, she said looking at a
distance.
“Why? I can drop you there”, he did not
want to end the conversation in that note.
“I am leaving. But remember, I will send
that picture to her, if you message me again”, she said calmly. She was happy
with the man she choose to fall for. He is worth the pain. The time spend with
him was worth the tears. She smiled. She had won the conversation. She felt
triumphant in making him admit that his fiancee means more to him than her. He
could not lie to her… just, yet.
She did not have anything more to say. She
walked. Her heart screamed to look back, to have the last glance of him. But
she walked. She had walked away from someone she loved before, and she know
this won’t be the last as well. But she walked…alone, like the first time he met her.
But now, she had a lot of his memories to
hold on to. And...she just walked.
“I like a guy”,
I said almost thoughtfully.
